after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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