Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
