Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
