You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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