wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
