Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
