feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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