I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
