So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize