hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
