Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
