My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
