Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
