Do you still have your period?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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