He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize