I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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