the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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