You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
