Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
