Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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