A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't deserve a penis
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
