Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
