is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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