Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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