i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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