I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
