don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
