If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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