Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
