party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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