they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
