but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
