It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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