Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
