I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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