ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
