Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
