forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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