I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
