i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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