Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
