can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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