I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
