do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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