but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
