Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize