Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
