I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
