The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
