I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
