I just threw up on my dentist
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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