There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She announced her abortion via fbk
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
