Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
A+ Viking dick
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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