I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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