I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
