I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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