Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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