She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
