i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
