she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
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I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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